March 2, 2014 by Erin C
The 5 Love Languages
When I first found out about Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages it just about blew my mind. He discovered through many years of being a couples therapist that there are 5 love languages that people speak and that couples don’t necessarily speak the same one. For example, there are certain things a person can do that yield loving feelings in one person but may be unimportant to the other.
The 5 Love Languages are:
- Physical Touch
- Verbal Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
Me? I love my husband but for years he’d been a mystery to me. I mean, fundamentally we were opposite in every way (I knew that before we were married) but I always felt that we wouldn’t have fallen in love unless we were communicating on the same page. However, then I read this book and I realized that for years I had been giving and showing him love in the ways that meant something to me:
physical touch and words of affirmation
…not in ways that meant something to him:
acts of service and quality time
For example, I would hug him and kiss him and praise him for all of his hard work to show my love. What he really needed was for me to keep the living room clean and to call him on the phone during work hours.
Eeeesh. How could I be so wrong?
Of course, the opposite was true as well. I craved physical connection with him and his verbal approval constantly. It meant so much to just get a “thank you” or “I’m really proud of you” but it rarely came, even if I specifically spelled it out what it was that I wanted. Long story short, I practically filled out the test for him (and me) and it served as a great starting point to address this area of miscommunication for us.
So in the end, it’s got a great personality test and if you feel like you and your partner or spouse are missing each other on some level but you’re not quite sure what it is, this might be it.
Have you ever taken the 5 Love Languages test before?
Tell me what your love language is in the comments!
Disclaimer – this post is completely my personal opinion and not part of a sponsorship in any way.